Lindsey newsletter # 126
Biarritz, 2nd of August 2018
Yesterday, no entry. Because there was nothing to enter. A lot of organizing with the new team, and of trying to solve the problems which appeared because of the trip to Nantes. Mucus to get rid off and lack of vigilance.
Lack of vigilance is to be dealt with thanks to an increase in the amount of cortisone. Mucus thanks to rest and effective action by Vikki who has now acquired a new expertise: plunging two fingers into Lindsey’s mouth and removing what she finds. She has become very effective.
This should not be taken as a joke. This is complicated and I have not been able to do it!
The vigilance issue is of course more complex. The goal is (as usual) to work upon the edema which reforms itself systematically.
In order to do this the Doctor has ordered an increase in the quantity of Solumedrol (Cortisone). Which started yesterday and should take time to be effective.
Already today, as Lindsey was resting and I was working (hush… I am not supposed to) I switched on a small screen with a video from NHK for Lindsey to look at. And after a while I checked and there she was, looking at some documentary about the Kumano Kudo between Ise and the main Hongu shrine. It was strange. Clearly Lindsey was watching the video and enjoying it. But it was impossible to get into the video with her.
I am not sure what the above tells us. Possibly that the Doctor’s prescription is correct and that the cortisone may do the trick.
Enough hope, anyhow, to build upon till tomorrow.
Lindsey newsletter # 127
Biarritz, 3rd of August 2018, 2200
Very hot everywhere and Biarritz is no exception. For Lindsey this has meant keeping her in her room all day, where the temperature has been kept reasonable thanks to a ventilator.
The nurse (Franck) accepted my suggestion to bring her out and we did it around 8 in the evening. Lindsey is now sitting with us. And it is very nice.
Our visitors of the day were Jesus, el cura, and Marivi. Ah. In fact only two persons as Jesus and el Cura are the same person. Jesus is married to Marivi who is Jesus’ sister. Ah. I should point out that Jesus and Jesus are two different persons. In the 60s in Morales and the villages around Old Castille it was an unwritten rule that you could only be christened if you were called Jesus, Maria are a combination of these. A typical choice for boys would be Jesus-Maria, and for girls Maria-Jesus. To be fair you might get away with Juan, José or a combination with Maria… But alternatives would have been far too adventurous and the priest (called el cura) would possibly refuse christening.
I got lost and I got the reader lost here. What is important is that it was lovely to have their visit, that Lindsey did recognize them and she has been tranquil but present most of the day.
Corinne arrived today also and her expertise (Corinne is a physiotherapist) has been put to work rapidly.
Amarula again… possibly the last of the bottle. Just very nice to look and see that Lindsey is with us as we all talk and enjoy the summer evening.
Lindsey newsletter # 128
Biarritz, 5th of August 2018, 1520
No spectacular progress to report. Either way.
The nurses keep evaluation pain to 0, which is the good news.
A normal day in Biarritz starts at 7-30: during the night I will have got up 4 or 5 times to open and close the shutters. It is just so hot. But on the other hand Lindsey is having trouble regulating the temperature so I have to find the right equilibrium which seems to be somewhere too cold for her and too hot for me.
At 8 or 8-30 arrives the nurse. As in Nantes the different nurses are young and great people. Around 9-30 comes the aide-soignante who will wash Lindsey and make her comfortable. At that point I will have literally run out (gone for a jog).
We then stay in the room with a bit of music. Today I chose Cuban music which Lindsey used to enjoy. Lunch and the afternoon go by with very little activity, but then it is just so hot. The household goes into siesta mode. Sometimes Lindsey is the most awaken person then!
End of the afternoon allows me to go for a quick swim in the sea. The nurse will come back anywhere between 6 and 8, depending on the other patients, and be with us sorting the evening medicines out. Before leaving he (or she) will help us install Lindsey on the terrace, in a cosy chair. She will be there with us for a couple of hours, weather permitting.
The key medical concern we have is her neck which has been inflated for a while. As a consequence Lindsey has problems with anything going into her mouth. Of course we would like to deal with the neck issue when it probably isn’t a cause but a consequence.
Lindsey newsletter # 129
Biarritz, 7th of August 2018, 0620
Lindsey quiet right now and Vikki has just gone back to bed. The bedroom windows are wide open and a gale seems to be preparing. Which will have the advantage is bringing the temperatures down after an exhausting day of heat.
But the day was not only exhausting because of the heat.
The day started with me attempting to go for a run –but spending most of that time walking because of the heat and the humidity- and Boris leaving to Bordeaux for 3 days of work.
At around 11 Lindsey seemed agitated and the agitation built up to heavy breathing, some convulsions and the right arm and leg going stiff. The pattern seemed to repeat itself and become more violent so I called the Hospital who sent a nurse. This time it was Caroline.
She checked and phoned the doctor: the symptoms were those of an epileptic fit, but the medicine Lindsey has should avoid these. I thought she was trying to press my hand toward her stomach and was scared of a pancreatitis crisis. Sufficiently for the nurse to play safe and take a blood sample for later examination. Then Lindsey was given a shot of some strong anxiolytic which calmed down the convulsions and put her to sleep.
Lindsey spent her afternoon asleep and was still out when Dr Dospital and Franck (the regular nurse) arrived. By then I had received the biological results by email which showed that I was wrong (no problem with the pancreas) but did indicate an infection and a low sodium level. So issues to be dealt with in the next few days.
Juanma and Jesus arrived in the afternoon. It was nice seeing them again. Last time was in August last year. Many times in the past have we all 4 been out for lunch or dinner in Morales…
When we went to bed it was still very hot and I kept the ventilator on. A bit before 5 in the morning I turned it off. A bit later I noticed Lindsey moving and breathing heavily. It was clearly another epileptic fit. The doctor had decided to increase the medication for this last night, but the new dose only starts today. So I woke Vikki and we phoned the hospital.
And again Caroline arrived. And solved the problem efficiently. Caroline was known to this household because she was the nurse who came systematically four years ago when my father was sick. And she said she remembered us very well too.
It is 6-40 and I have already drunk 2 cups of coffee. The gale seems to not want to develop. I hope it is a good omen.
Lindsey newsletter # 130
Biarritz, 9th of August, 1530
Lindsey lying quietly.
Boris, Lali and Vikki taking turns with her.
A lot of wind and rain during the night. Which didn’t help us rest.
Things are complicated. We have had to call the nurses in at different moments, either to help solve an epilepsy event or to bring the temperature down.
The nurses seem to give us full marks and think we are a very nice place to work at. We give them full marks too: they are very devoted and will take as long as needed.
Jesus and Juanma left this morning. They were great to have around even if I couldn’t get away much. But I have been able to go down to the beach for a quick dip. It has probably worked well for the stress.
More doctors and nurses expected this afternoon, so no time for a siesta.
Lindsey is still with us in her way. When the medicine to stop the epilepsy dies out she opens her eyes and stares. Often she just stares up. But with patience, the right tone of voice, not too much light, she will turn her eyes to you and look.
We then try to speak and get response through eyelid language or the pressure of the hand.
(continued after the visit by the Doctors)
The Doctors were with us for an hour. Everything went as well as we could have hoped.
So we can rest a little.
Lindsey newsletter # 131
Biarritz, 11th of August, 1730
The lull.
Nothing much since the last entry. We go on with logistics, taking turns looking after Lindsey. The current nurse is called Pauline and she is very kind. But the others are great too. Yesterday Pauline needed someone to bring her something and it seems that both Elorie and Franck volunteered. And it was 8 in the evening.
We still feel Lindsey is with us.
Yesterday evening Julie and Jill were supposed to land from London. But their flight was cancelled and they are en route right now by train.
Before then there is a bit of time to try to give Lindsey some ice cream.
Love
Lindsey newsletter # 132
Biarritz, 13th of August, 11-00
Exhausting. I think Lindsey changed her breathing pattern twenty times during the night. Hyperventilating one moment, completely silent the next, through the nose, the mouth, both at the same time or neither.
Each change of breathing wakes me up. I then lie for a first eternity… then get up to check: is the right arm stiff? is there fever? is the left hand grasping? Once the tests done -and they are never conclusive- back to bed for another eternity to get back to sleep, only to wake up because of something else.
During the day, on the contrary, Lindsey is so quiet. Very peaceful.
Colin
Lindsey newsletter # 133
Biarritz, 15th of August, 1340
Dia de Nuestra Señora. As it is called in Morales. Morales where Lindsey and I have spent so much time in August in previous years. As I sit next to the bed I can only think of all the friends there. The younger ones won’t be up yet. The older ones will have been to the Misa Castellana, dressed up as Castilians from Goya times. At this time the reasonable people would be finishing the ronda de los vinos. Lindsey and I would probably only be starting it, meeting up with Jesus and Juanma. Los bares de arriba first, then los de abajo. My father would also be in a bar called “de los jubilados” where inevitably he would enter the wine tasting competition. This started as a low key affair some 25 years ago and some of us entered without even have bothered to go to bed that night. We would protest against the fact that we were amateurs whereas professionals started to appear (they had slept that night). We all stopped participating arguing that no tapas were served with the wine, only some very dry biscuits. My father kept going and we kept waiting for him, letting him pick his prize, look at his score sheet and we would all go together to the cuarto for the important meal which would take place that day.
Merche would usually act as chef on the 15th. Merche who is coming from Toro today, with Jesus. Luis and Corinne are around too; they arrived as Jill and Julie were flying back to London.
Visits, a splash in the sea, food and drink. The nurses for Lindsey (in this moment she is called Marine) and little more.
Love
Lindsey newsletter # 134
Biarritz, 16th of August, 1550
Today is San Roque. On San Roque 2016 Lindsey, Vikki and I were flying back at last from Seoul. San Roque of previous years had been a festive occasion.
The night has been easy. In Biarritz they spend a lot of money on fireworks for the 15th so there was quite a lot of animation last night; Luis, Corinne and Vikki made the trip to the Grande Plage to see the (I was told) fantastic exhibition. Jesus and Merche went up the street to watch the display from the top of the hill. I stayed with Lindsey and I like to believe we interpreted with the same colours the variety of noises which reached us.
San Roque has always been a problem with both Morales and Trearddur Bay acting as conflicting attraction points. Trearddur Bay is where I met Lindsey some 45 years ago (!) and re-met her 32 years ago. The second time was much more convincing than the first.
She is now lying with Boris looking after her. She is very quiet and does not seem troubled.
Love
Lindsey newsletter # 135
Biarritz, 18th of August, 1830
The sense of false security was strange. We take it in turns, worry about futile details, try to keep busy. Last evening things got a bit more complicated and it took us a while to be reassured. Then Lindsey spent an easy night and so did I.
This morning things started getting harder. Lindsey had breathing problems and we had to call the nurse in. The problem is now under control but we could have a difficult night ahead of us. And certainly the stress level has gone up a notch or two.
Love
Lindsey newsletter # 136
Biarritz, 20th of August, 1030
At seven in the morning, Lindsey left us.
Last evening her breathing patterns changed again; the nurse came and told us we were to expect the issue. What had been a question of days became one of hours. We nevertheless decided against staying awake all night or taking turns. For many reasons impossible to explain even here.
I slept next to her and woke several times hearing her breath, hearing for her breath. At seven I could hear it no more and woke Boris and Vikki.
I hold the belief that she didn’t suffer, that she knew we were there yet gave her the room she needed to go away quietly. Very quietly.
With all my love.
Sad sad sad news.
Las peores que podríamos leer.
Un abrazo muy grande, mío y de mi familia para todos.
Par où commencer? Je ne suis pas importante en comparaison de tous ses proches, mais je tenais quand même à lui laisser un dernier message.
Déjà, toutes mes sincères condoléances à la famille et les proches. Je vous souhaite beaucoup de courage en ces moments difficiles.
Avec Lindsey, et la famille De La Higuera, nous nous sommes connus le 15 Décembre 2016… Une rencontre très particulière car c’était le début de la maladie et Lindsey étant très faible ne parlait pas beaucoup français. Mais c’est tout de même le début d’une histoire très enrichissante pour ma part. Lindsey et ses proches sont très attentifs et toujours prêts pour m’aider.
Je garderais en moi, l’image de Lindsey joyeuse, souriante et forte. Quand elle poussait la table du séjour pour danser et chanter à tue tête.
Je ne suis qu’une simple assistante de vie parmi tant d’autres qui sont passées dans cette maison, mais la manucure m’attendait toujours car Lindsey et ses ongles vernis en rouge bordeaux est une belle et grande histoire d’amour.
Avec toute mon amitié,
Comme on se disait avec Lindsey, lots of love
xoxo
To Colin, Vikki, Boris, Madeleine and Jill,
We were so sad to hear of Lindsey’s passing. Our thoughts and prayers are with all of you in France,
We feel thankful for the times we shared with beautiful Lindsey.
Love from your Canadian family,
Rob, Joan, Sarah and Scott, Glyn, Tessa and Will, and Austin
Adieu Lindsey
je t’ai rencontrée pour la première fois à Montpellier, j’en garde un souvenir extraordinaire, de ta douceur et ta gentillesse uniques.
Chez toi on se sentait toujours à l’aise, car tu as été une femme soucieuse de distribuer cette bienveillance que tu avais en toi
Tu as été une belle femme sans prétention ni chichi*
Une étoile dans le ciel de la bonne humeur et de la bienveillance naturelle s’est éteinte
Colin a toujours été amoureux et heureux à tes cotés,
Il n’ y a pas une fois que je l’ai rencontré, qu’il ne m’est pas parlé de toi
Disant ceci, je dois demander à Lindsey si on est disponible , c’est mon agenda et mon havre de paix ,
Tu l’avais rendu heureux avec ces deux beaux enfants beaux et aimables
J’ai adoré vos réceptions où les trois langues étaient la langue naturelle de la maison
Adieu Lindsey, tu laisses un vide immense auprès des tiens
Colin est un homme formidable, et je pleure en pensant à lui là
Engagé dans son amour jusqu’au bout, et continuant à travailler en fonction de l’évolution de ta santé
j’ai lu beaucoup de choses dans les littératures classiques sur ces maris qui aiment jusqu’au bout de la nuit et je n’en ai jamais vu avant Colin
Un homme de haute allure, avec fierté car il a continué son travail sans aucune aide
Adieu Lindsey
Repose en paix, je suis sure que tu es une belle âme qui continuera à virevolter autour de Colin, Boris et Wikki, pour les éclairer dans les chemins divers de la vie
Chers Colin, Wikki et Boris,
comment ne pas rester attachés à une voisine si sympathique. A peine arrivée rue François Lizé, elle faisait une visite à Marie pour échanger de bonnes adresses et quelques jours plus tard, nous nous retrouvions pour tailler ensemble nos rosiers. Lindsey avait comme chacun de vous un grand sens de l’accueil et de l’amitié. Vous nous aviez invités pour une réception chaleureuse, heureux de nous faire goûter les bonnes spécialités d’outre-manche.
Nous avons toujours pu en toute simplicité nous rendre service réciproquement, et cela a créé un lien d’amitié qui restera.
Bien affectueusement,
Daniel et Marie
I have known your family all my life, and heard of these events from a distance.
I am Anne Glynne-Jones’s niece, daughter of Margaret Parkin, sister to Sarah.
It was so brave of you to share this story with us.
Thank you