Lindsey newsletter # 106
Nantes, Monday 12th March, 15-00.
Sitting in the hospital room. Lindsey is resting. We arrived at 8-30 and still have 2 hours to go.
I had hoped it would be shorter because the blood tests on Saturday had been better than at previous similar moments, but the count wasn’t right and we had to do another blood test. The result of these came in at 10 and were positive. And then for two hours nothing happened until the first drug was delivered. I wasn’t very happy. Obviously things need to be organised but this seemed to me to be a pointless waste of time and just makes the whole thing more exhausting.
The past two weeks have been simple but also very slow. During the first week, rest, with Lali there to help. Not much energy. The best has been the food: I have now found a fish-shop who has fresh Tuna from the Atlantic and this is just so good!
Then we drove down to Biarritz so spend a week there. The week seemed to vanish into noting with very little time to even rest. The weather was not as nice as we hoped, so we did most of our walks down the bottom, on the “corniche”. The views are spectacular and the fresh sea breeze is so stimulating… when the breeze is not a gale.
On Thursday Jesus and Merche came from Toro to visit. We didn’t do very much but it was great to have them around, enjoy long talks and introduce them to the pleasures of watching winter rugby on television.
Lali has come back with us to help us this week: I have to go to Paris (to teach MPs how to code!) so she will be able to be with Lindsey.
The word I hesitate to employ is “boring”. It may sound wrong when so much is at stake. But there is this feeling that you can’t make plans for something exciting, that you depend on magic numbers coming from blood samples and MRIs, that any simple plan will lead to nothing if the inevitable tiredness creeps in.
Vikki gets back at the end of the week. A bit of vitality may help.
Lindsey newsletter # 107
Nantes Thursday 22nd of March, 23-00
Everything is now quiet. Lindsey has gone to bed and so have Georgie (now visiting) and Vikki (who got back last week from La Réunion island).
Tomorrow we have a « complicated day ». We have an MRI followed by a meeting with the oncologist.
Each one of these is an ordeal. For possibly 2 weeks before we start worrying. Lindsey at first doesn’t perhaps take in all the implications but it soon becomes clear. Because it is impossible to answer to her numerous questions anything else than « we will be getting an answer next week ».
What can I predict?
I am not sure. On one hand I have been wrong most of the times before. I have entered into the Doctor’s office with the certitude that the news would be bad and have come out crying of joy and kicking myself for being so pessimistic.
On the other hand, it is necessary to go in with little hope in order to cope with some new complication which may require decisions to be made.
From a more clinical perspective, there are positive signs and negative ones. Lindsey can be much more muddly, has a bit less strength and tends to need more hours sleep. Again on the other hand the treatment is demanding, there are a number of other possible explanations and the differences may not be as clear as I state.
But the stress must end, for everyone’s state of mind. Tomorrow we will know.